Anybody know what "democracy" looks like?

Apparently, it looks like a bunch of grimy looking people marching down the street, bleating like sheep and spewing out as many buzzwords as possible in a single breath.

Chances are, you've seen these people around your city, dear reader. They hold signs saying that they are part of some sort of thing called the 99%. They look like they're protesting business, or the government, or...hell, I don't know, unicorns?

I am speaking of none other than the demonstrations that have sprung up around the nation after the phenomenon known as "Occupy Wall Street."

Here's a few of the "demands" that were gathered by Reason magazine (http://reason.com/blog/2011/10/03/occupy-wall-street-ghosts-of-s)

"Demand one: Restoration of the living wage. This demand can only be met by ending "Freetrade" by re-imposing trade tariffs on all imported goods entering the American market to level the playing field for domestic family farming and domestic manufacturing as most nations that are dumping cheap products onto the American market have radical wage and environmental regulation advantages. Another policy that must be instituted is raise the minimum wage to twenty dollars an hr.

Demand two: Institute a universal single payer healthcare system. To do this all private insurers must be banned from the healthcare market as their only effect on the health of patients is to take money away from doctors, nurses and hospitals preventing them from doing their jobs and hand that money to wall st. investors.

Demand three: Guaranteed living wage income regardless of employment.

Demand four: Free college education.

Demand five: Begin a fast track process to bring the fossil fuel economy to an end while at the same bringing the alternative energy economy up to energy demand.

Demand six: One trillion dollars in infrastructure (Water, Sewer, Rail, Roads and Bridges and Electrical Grid) spending now."

Okay, so, it looks like someone didn't pay attention in their economics class because these demands are fucking impossible. I'll break it down by demand:

1. Okay, seriously? Tariffs haven't been the primary source of income for the United States government since World War I. In addition to that, countries that we have entered into free trade agreements with (NAFTA, etc.) are not only not going to send more products to the U.S., but it may cause political backlash as well. Let's talk a little more about that, shall we? There's a reason why we rely on products that are imported to the United States, and that's because we have what is called a "specialized economy." We live in an era where we don't have to be completely self-sustaining; for instance, in the amount of time and manpower that it would take to grow a decent yield of crops, the same amount of manpower, resources, and energy could be used to produce motherboards for computers. We've proven in the past that isolationism doesn't work, and that rings even truer today with our emphasis on internationalism. As far as the whole "family farming" thing goes, if you want to buy from "small family farms," good luck finding one. Nowadays, farmers are subsidized by the government to NOT produce food to prevent flooding of the market. Chances are, you're going to have to find a farmer's market or a co-op or something. Either way, most of the food that you're eating comes from large farms. I'm not even going to get started on the last portion of that demand for a $20 an hour minimum wage because that is completely ridiculous. Businesses will implode upon themselves and will be forced to raise the price of their goods and services in order to accomodate for the money that is being spent on labor.

2. Conspiracy theory much? I mean, I've taken a psychology course in which the foundation of the guy's lectures were that private insurance companies were nothing short of the mafia and essentially bully doctors and psychiatrists to give out medication that really shouldn't be prescribed in the first place, and that seems a bit more feasible in comparison to this. Let's see some facts that these insurance companies are, indeed, taking money from the people and throwing it at Wall street bankers to do whatever satanic ritual you think they do.

3. By and large, see my explanation of how raising the minimum wage to $20 is ridiculous. As a point of extension, each city has a different standard of living; ergo, there is no universal way of determining what kind of wage qualifies as a "living" wage. In addition to that, we've more or less set the standards as far as what kind of work qualifies for a certain wage. You shouldn't have the expectation that you'll be making bank at a job that requires little training and is not as specialized.

4. First of all, there's no such thing as "free." That is a fallacy and a flaw in logic in and of itself. Second, staff, faculty, and other university employees need to earn wages as well, and a large part of that is derived from tuition money. Also, the fact that it costs money to attend classes is more or less an incentive for students to do well; if they fuck up for any reason, then that means that they have not only wasted their time, but have also wasted their money as well. Also, this will end up costing the people in the end as, I assume, the government will be covering the costs of attendance out of the tax revenue. That's one more thing that the government has to pay for, and that's one more tax that the government has to levy.

5. This demand is rooted in the idealistic thought that alternative energy is on the same level of efficiency, both for the consumer and producer. There's a reason why fossil fuel is the predominately the most widely-used fuel today: it's cheap. It's cheap to produce, and it's cheap to utilize for fuel. It costs between $175 and $457 per kilowatt hour to produce electricity by wind (source: http://www.mnforsustain.org/windpower_schleede_costs_of_electricity.htm). Comparatively speaking, it costs $7.39 per kWh to use coal (source: http://205.254.135.24/electricity/monthly/). The numbers are staggering, and its easy to see why companies are more apt to utilize fossil fuels as opposed to the alternative fields that are either unreliable or too expensive. As far as car fuel goes, the energy it requires to produce a single gallon of E-85 far exceeds the amount of energy that it output by the combustion of fuel.

6. One trillion dollars in infrastructure?!? Are you fucking kidding me?!? That would practically mean that every single person in America would get their own bridge named after them, AND they'd have to pay for the privilege. This is a taxation nightmare. We're reeling from the debt that we've already incurred upon ourselves; this is going to be no better. I'm sure whoever thought up this demand ascribes to the mentality that "if you want more money, all you have to do is print more." Really, dumbass. If it were that easy, then we could print our way out of debt.



Meet the protestor.

This is the person who's carrying the signs. The person speaking buzzwords until you get tired of hearing them. The "individual" that is asking people if they know what democracy looks like. The person who wants people to take them seriously. The supposed member of the 99% that is speaking for all of us.

People's hearts are in the right place, don't get me wrong. That's cool that they're actually going out to do something about the crisis that has befallen America today. They just need to get a bit more direction and a little closer to earth.

Four wheels bad, two wheels better

First things first, a bit of disclosure. I'm an avid bicyclist. I love riding my 21-speed mountain bike or my road bike around town or even as a healthier method of transportation if the location is within a reasonable distance.

However, I have a bit of a problem with the "Same Roads, Same Rules" mentality. In addition to being an avid bicyclist, I am also an avid motorist/motorcyclist. I give bicycles a wide berth because I know how much it sucks to have a car whiz past you on your bike. I take care not to honk at cyclists or yell "GET OFF THE FUCKING ROAD!" simply because I can.

Here's where I start to take issue: bicyclists are not subject to the same rules as cars or motorcycles. Sure, there are traffic laws (i.e: stop lights, stop signs, etc.) that they are generally supposed to follow, but for the most part, bicyclists enjoy the ability to make the initial investment of the said bike and ride it until their feet fall off.

This brings me to my first point: ANYONE can ride a bicycle on ANY road. Now, this is all well and good and everything, but for those of you who read my blog, do you remember what you had to do before you could drive on said roads? That's right. You had to meet the state standard for operation of a motorized vehicle. There is no standard, be it written or state mandated for operation of a bicycle, meaning you can ride as much like a douche as you want and, well, whatever. Worst that's gonna happen is you get hit by a car and the person driving said car is getting charged with vehicular manslaughter. I challenge you to find someone who got pulled over on their bike for "reckless biking."

Second, depending on the state (Michigan is one of them), there is a mandatory helmet law for motorcyclists. Although it is on the chopping block for repeal/relaxation, it still exists. I, personally, will never ride my motorcycle without a helmet, but that is personal choice. Helmets are optional for bicycles in Michigan, and unless the rider is a hardcore bicyclist with a rearview thing affixed on his helmet, you're not going to see many people wearing a helmet. This ties in with the whole "no written standard" for operation of a bicycle.

Third, bicycle owners do not have to register their bikes with the state, nor do they have to get any insurance on the bicycle itself. Although this one seems a bit obscure, it makes a bit more sense if you think about it. Registration with the state would actually be a benefit for the bicyclist because should their bike get stolen, the thief would be subject to the same laws as they would be if they were to steal your car or motorcycle. In addition to that, should your bike get stolen or damaged in any way, you wouldn't be out a great deal of money due to your insurance coverage.

I agree that bikes have their place on the roads, don't get me wrong. I'm just saying that if you're going to use the same roads as motorized vehicles, you should follow the same rules.

How celebrities are winning unnecessary attention

Celebrity news. A subject that so many people pay attention to, almost to a fanatical state. I've never seen something so mind-boggling in my life; how some people can get so emotionally and mentally invested in the antics of their favorite movie and television stars while, in some cases, push their own problems aside is completely beyond me.

And for some reason or another, whether it's simply because we're a very social society or something deeper, we generally focus on the negative, usually outlandish behavior of said celebrities.

Take Charlie Sheen, for example.

Up until his breakdown and bizzarre interview a couple weeks ago where he ignominiously stated that he had "tiger's blood," was a descendant of Adonis, and was "bi-winning, not bi-polar," Sheen was nothing more than that one guy on Two and a Half Men. We didn't really pay any attention to him. I mean, I could barely stomach an episode of Two and a Half Men, and I had seen him once or twice in a passing movie or television show. However, since his episode, he's been all over the news, the internet culture has eaten up the hysteria by turning the interviews into a song, and I've seen handfuls of people sporting trendy t-shirts that have some quote from Sheen, whether it's his newly trademarked phrase "WINNING" or something along those lines.

Thanks to the surge of publicity, Sheen has decided to take his nigh-surreal rants and raves on tour. Needless to say, because of the craze, the show sold out almost immediately.

I'll admit, I made the pitfall of following the craze for a couple of days, but then it dawned upon me: this guy has problems. Serious, serious problems.

That being said, this whole thing begs the question of whether or not his actions are legitimate and he is in dire need of psychological help or if the whole thing is just an act and the man is sick and tired of living in the alienated corner of our brain as "that one guy from Two and a Half Men."

Sadly, celebrity news is a vicious cycle. As long as people continue to be in the spotlight, people will still follow it, and I've come up with a few reasons why:

1. It's a distraction. The world is going to hell in a handbasket. The economy is in the shitter, almost 10,000 people are missing or dead in Japan, the Gulf of Mexico is still recovering from the BP debacle (one thing I absolutely love to see is celebrities get involved with major world issues. James Cameron's aid was requested during the oil situation. I guess whoever was in charge of correcting the issue figured his ego would fit perfectly in the hole), and unemployment is on the rise. Hell, even our sports aren't without their issues; players in the the NFL draft may not show up due to disagreements with the management. What better way to entertain yourself than watch some dumbass celebrity make a fool of themselves on national television?

2. It's a reminder that even the pretty, pretty people that we invite into our homes on a nightly basis on our televisions and computers have problems, just like us. Not everything is perfect, or at bare minimum, looks as perfect in their lives. With that, take a look at Disney sweetheart Miley Cyrus. She just turned 18, which is news in and of itself. Thanks to the posturing from Disney, Cyrus became the poster child for the 10-16 demo, providing these kids with a positive, albeit annoying, message in her television show. However, this all come to a crashing halt when one night, she experimented with Salvia, a legal hallucinogenic substance, and was recorded doing so. Little Miley was practically ruined overnight.

3. There's a sick part in the human (or at bare minimum, the American) psyche that somewhat enjoys watching people "above" us fall from grace. It goes without saying that the bigger they are, the harder they fall. With that in mind, we see these falls and think to ourselves, "At least I'm not that bad." We then use that as a social barometer to justify our actions, knowing that somewhere out there, someone who was in the limelight has done worse and that at least we're not being recorded doing it. I refer to none other than the Jersey Shore for this, and perhaps this is the plight of most, if not all, reality television shows: it takes average, everyday people and leaves them starstruck, resulting in them doing very, very, very stupid things.

Whatever your reasons are, there's nothing terribly wrong with following celebrity news and happenings. The worse that'll happen is that you lose a few hours of your life and you have a t-shirt with a celebrity quote languishing in your closet a few months down the road.

No, it's not the end of the world

Okay, so we recently got hit by a massive blizzard that doubled the amount of snow on the ground. Because of this, everyone's shitting frisbees and freaking out that the supposed catastrophe that is 2012 (the year, not the movie, although 2012 was a catastrophe in its own right) came early.

Some people even started referring to this as "Snowmageddon 2011." Those people are what I like to call "stupid."

That's right. I have judged each and every single moron and equally stupid media outlet who has referred to this blizzard as "Snowmageddon."

In case you hadn't realized, we get a massive blizzard like this every year, and it used to be worse years ago. So, if this is a new thing for you, you either must be from a different part of America or the world that never has snow, too young to remember the terrible snow storms that plagued Michigan and the midwest, and/or have really, really, really bad memory loss. If so, the remedy for your madness/stupidity/naivety is to listen to someone who actually experienced it. That way you know not to go completely batshit insane when the snow hits.

The night before the blizzard, I went to the grocery store to buy dinner and the place was a mad house. People were stocking up on bread, canned goods, milk, eggs, etc.. I halfway wanted to ask one of the more frantic customers if the "Ruskies were making the final push into the homeland," just to see what would happen.

Either way, welcome to Michigan. It's cold here. It snows here. We are not living a Robert Frost poem where the world will end in ice.

It will end in fire.

2010 can go die in a fire

My goodness, I haven't seen such a bad year, and on so many different levels.

Now, this might look like I'm starting this year pissed off and unwilling to let things go. However, I'm looking forward to what 2011 has to offer and the potential it has in comparison to the completely shit-tacular year that was 2010.

Let me give you the rundown of why 2010 can go die in the aforementioned fire:

-I think that this first point may be fairly obvious if you're from Flint or the Flint area, but we had 486 fires in the city of Flint, not to mention the many lay-offs that occurred in both police and fire. It got to the point where other cities in Genesee county refused to honor the agreement that was set up between them which called for other departments dispatching firefighters to neighboring cities unless there was a firefighter down because there were so many fires.

-Relating to Flint, we have broken our own record for number of homicides, reaching 62 as of 12-13-10; the previous record being 61 in 1986. Sure, a larger police force doesn't decrease the crime rate, but it sure as hell gives the citizens of Flint the peace of mind that when they call the police, they will actually show up. Sometimes in a timely fashion. Well done, Flint. Pat yourself on the back. Oh wait, you're too busy trying to find a place to put a knife

-The BP oil spill that occurred in 2010 left the gulf coast in America tainted and ruined for who knows how many years to come, and BP has little to show for the spill and relief. Not to mention that for some reason or another, they were bringing in celebrities to brainstorm ideas as to how to plug the leak. Probably the most laughable instance of that is none other than James Cameron. I suppose that they figured that his ego would be more than enough to do the trick.

-In a word, Wikileaks. Similar to how the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001 shattered our sense of physical security, the classified documents that were divulged on Julian Assange's website made us that much more reluctant and less trustworthy of both the internet, ourselves, and each other. I can recall seeing an e-mail in my Army mailbox telling me not to go to Wikileaks and that doing so was a breach of national security.

-There's a saying that a soldier's worst nightmare is being in a political situation. Gen. McChrystal not only proved this point, but took it a step further by not locking down his staff and being less than diplomatic in the infamous article known as "The Runaway General" towards the current administration's policies and America's allies. While not necessarily a negative portrayal of McChrystal, it showed a side of a high-ranking officer not usually seen by the civilian populace: the more rough around the edges soldier mentality.

-The earthquake in Haiti compounded the already hopeless squalor that was the current state and made it worse by destroying buildings, land, and the very lives of the people who lived there. The small island government is still reeling from the devastating quake that ravaged the land. It's usually common practice for journalists to not get involved in the surrounding events, but during Anderson Cooper's report from Haiti on his show, AC360, Cooper actually broke out of that impartiality to help a child who was hit by a rock to safety. Hat's off to you, Anderson. Journalists are people, too.

-The Jersey Shore. Need I say more?

-Student riots in England may be the prelude to the end of the European welfare states. As many English officials have pointed out, violent people (such as the group who torched the royal Rolls-Royce that contained the Prince of Wales and his wife, Camilla) are injecting themselves into the groups of peaceful protestors who are calling out the rise in tuition rates of higher education.

There are more reasons why 2010 will go down as one of the worst years of the decade, but this is just naming a few.

Especially Jersey Shore.

And that's my view.